"I'm walking here! I'm walking here!"
Why walking is an issue?
Weighing 360 pounds is only part of the problem. I'm a little phobic about walking outdoors.
I have an issue with my eyesight that hinders my depth perception because of this I tend to stumble. Especially when I'm hurrying.
What I'm afraid of is that I'll be crossing the street when I stumble and fall. I won't be able to get up before a car comes. I'm more afraid for the driver that they will have to live with the fact that they hit me, than afraid of myself getting hurt or killed. Isn't that silly. It would just be so embarrassing.
So I have a tendency to wait till cars pass at crosswalks or till the driver insists by signaling that they'll wait for me, but I still get very anxious.
I have solutions for this of course, first thing I don't rush anymore and I haven't fallen in years.
I have a mantra when ever I find myself rushing, "No hurry, no worry".
I still stumble, but I have a walking stick, so this helps with the depth perception issue. I can feel the terrain that I can't judge by sight. It also steadies me on the occasional mis-step.
What I'm afraid of is that I'll be crossing the street when I stumble and fall. I won't be able to get up before a car comes. I'm more afraid for the driver that they will have to live with the fact that they hit me, than afraid of myself getting hurt or killed. Isn't that silly. It would just be so embarrassing.
So I have a tendency to wait till cars pass at crosswalks or till the driver insists by signaling that they'll wait for me, but I still get very anxious.
I have solutions for this of course, first thing I don't rush anymore and I haven't fallen in years.
I have a mantra when ever I find myself rushing, "No hurry, no worry".
I still stumble, but I have a walking stick, so this helps with the depth perception issue. I can feel the terrain that I can't judge by sight. It also steadies me on the occasional mis-step.
When I walk there is discomfort because of my weigh, but I think that my anxiety is more of an impediment to my walking than any pain I may experience. So I need to push past this fear. The opposite of fear is not courage but faith. I need to exercise faith and trust that the drivers will see me and stop. Have faith and trust that measures I've taken to keep from falling will work. Have faith that with walking my mobility will improve and these issues will diminish along with my anxiety.
Have no fear, Plan W is here. -a new mantra
"I'm gliding here!"